I have a friend who is clinically depressed. I know little about depression though I realize whatever I went through in my mid-20s was more episodic and temporary and nothing like what my friend experiences. She had a bout of cancer years ago and claims depression is far worse.
Recently when I saw her, on her brief venture away from home, I asked how she spent her days. I often ask “how are you” and I have become aware that this is a somewhat annoying question for her. Her depression has kept her from a part-time job while she tries to find the best medication to regulate her emotions. Actually, I think I first asked her what she was currently reading as I know we both share a love of reading. But she said reading is currently difficult as she has trouble focusing. So, that’s when I asked, “how do you spend the day?”
I think we know each other well enough that she wouldn’t perceive this as a judging kind of question. Because, well, I’m not. I didn’t know what to expect her answer to be.
What she went on to explain was her involvement with an online game. She’s mentioned this before but I may have dismissed it because I know nothing about online games. I’ve never done it beyond the early Facebook trivia quizzes. The type of game my friend participates in involves avatars and levels of complexity and what she stressed as working together as a team or community.
The avatar she’s created is someone very different than how she perceives herself. She’s more outgoing and vivacious in this online world.
I couldn’t hide my fascination and I continue to think about her sharing. Thankfully she’s able to find this endeavor, feel a sense of camaraderie and safety without causing any harm to herself or others. I say this because many of us seek a way to escape our current situation. There are infinite ways to escape but do they help?
I trust that in time her body will acclimate to a new drug regimen and she’ll be able to return to work.